pixelated.me

She barely had time to ask. In fact I'm not even sure if i gave her time to ask. I was wearing my headphones listening to a piano version of some radiohead song that made my walk from the supermarket through the park to my flat seem that much more cinematic.
I did manage to hear her say "disculpe la molestia" (Excuse the bother)
instinctively before my mind had finished processing who she was or what she might want i threw up a polite but firm, very well worn, no sorry don't have any. She might have been asking for directions, clever quips, hell, maybe even mac advice, all of which i would have had to confess i had plenty of.
She may have also wanted money, of which i had some.
Beggars, Pan Handlers, Bums, Street Urchins all of these are common fair in most large cities, and more so in the more affluent neighborhoods,
Sadly as i walked away i realized she was none of the above. My mind finished processing the visual clues as i reached the edge of the park.
She was dressed normally, wore some makeup, had her hair gelled back, and seemed in genuine distress. I'd seen her moments before she asked me, ask the man walking towards me and watched his reaction, his well rehearsed shrug off, and as i walked, as i in fact started thing about writing about this experiencing, slightly appalled that the writer in me would somehow profit from the moment, i realized maybe she was just like me, or you, or anyone i know who through fate and circumstanced needed to ask for 10 pesos to grab a metrobus, maybe there was genuine need of a helping hand and not merely the every day begging for a handout.
But my callousness is a coat i throw on even on the most unbearably hot days, without much thought, as i grab keys, wallet, music, callousness and head out the door.
Somewhere along the line, with the everday litany of people asking for money i became a man who wouldn't even stop to hear what that woman had to say, and for that i'm sorry because at the very least i could have let her get far enough past "excuse the bother" for it to actually be a bother.