traditionally when one is broken up with the first steps are closure and separation of things. sweaters are returned, toothbrushes, photos are put away into shoe boxes that will remain untouched for many years to come. The neccesary steps to pretend that the other person doesn't really exist anymore. You try and forget and move on.
but what happens to those barriers when suddenly we live in a world of twitter feeds, myspace pages, blogs, flickr, youtube....
suddenly there is an overwhelming sea of information about the very person you are trying to forget. In all likelihood a sea of things that once brought a sense of sharing and connectedness; reading the twitter update of the girl you're involved with, or her blog can be delightful, but when that blog or twitter feed is the feed of the girl you are no longer seeing the very same thing becomes an accursed thorn in your side which you have to try overwhelmingly to avoid. Except that we don't. or at least i don't. Call it morbid curiosity, masochism, who knows, but it does kill the cat. So you check the blog, you look at the myspace page, you browse her flickr and wonder who the fuck that dude in the picture with her is, your inside turn into the angry tentacles of a mythological beast and you wish there was someway to forget, forget the urls, forget the twitter feed. Sure you can unfriend someone, but for those of us with good to decent memory, you remember and so you check, because somehow it tricks you into thinking them still a part of your life, even if only for the half second before evidence of their new life smacks you across the face like a hard rain.
they are hot, and sticky, and they make me feel lethargic and for some odd reason for the past two years my love life takes a dive in the summer months, i fare so much better when it's cold out. maybe I'm more charming in the cold or less foolish
or i could just look sexier in cashmere...
this post really has nothing to do with summers and everything to do with June.
everything occurred in the space between
Flight attendant: if newark is not in your travel plans please inform a flight attendant at this time
Oops. lol
Back to nyc. First time since i broke up with her. I wonder what my old city will feel like. It's been a tumultuous last 3 days. Saw a review of hot fuzz, thought of her, i wonder how long it takes to fly to patagonia. 2 months at the very least. (can you do inside jokes via a blog) ? Questions:
Would it help me if i dug a hole? Answer:
Depends on how cozy the hole is.
The sun will shine a little less today.
Colors are a little duller.
And i will miss her sound.
intimacy is a strange fruit.
image taken from postsecret.com
I think it's a nice idea. today i'm trying to remind myself that it doesn't always happen neatly tied in beautiful orange yarn. sometimes it hurts, ...
It seems the world is full of duality. We are as people prone to it. We employ white lies, we laugh at the bosses joke or praise something mediocre our children do. We fall in love, multiple times and with multiple people sometimes simultaneously and it seems the only thing that matter is to embrace the concept of the deliberate. We can grit our teeth, pretend it won't be the case, but sometimes we will be presented with choices when we don't want any. That is the very nature of our existence, and sometimes over the mere possibility of something we will choose to allow duality into our lives, to be vulnerable to the impractical, the possibly complex, to be deliberate. lives are full of variables, choices; do i turn left or right. or shoud i climb up the tree instead. I think it requires courage to acknowledge that and to come to a fork in the road and stop and make a choice, again, every time you can, even if you chose to remain on your previous path.
I realize these post can at times seem vague but if you stop and think you'll realize that even though i might be writing about conclusion drawn from my own life, there are your own truths to back this up.
So we make choices. and i choose to believe in the holy trinity of love, creativity, passion
that that can all co-exist. That i can connect with that in one person.
I believe that and i think i may have just seen the trailer.
Coming soon....Summer of 2007?
Possibly June
and i was suprised to find that everything was okay. one thing did not negate the other but rather seemed to highlight. it continues, inspite of, perhaps, unswayed by a change in current.
there seems to be an odd fascination with the idea of uniqueness. odd because i both understand it and at times wonder why it and the concept of exclusivity seem so important to us.
somewhere in there is our own concepts of monogamy as an exclusivity club.
I'm not saying i disagree, but i do wonder about it.
if someone shares something with me, something that feels intimate and unique, yet something tangible, a secret, a story, a photo, a truth, and then choses to share that same thing with someone else or a group of people, does it make it any less special that he or she shared it with me? what is the implications of exclusivity when it comes to sharing?
i don't really have any answer, mostly just the question born out of my own experience.
i suppose we all want to feel like we are special to someone for something.
Beautiful Broken Thing.
That i love.
that i tried to fix.
that broke me.
that showed me i was broken.
today i read a tag. a few words adhered to an image and i realized in about 3 maybe 2 seconds that logic and emotion are comparatively speaking not even related. they wouldn't even pass for distant cousin thrice removed. It seems an utterly pedestrian realization, but in those 3 maybe 1 second i "felt" it. It was visceral and i was surprised by just how visceral something that made no sense to me could be. Imagine if you will waking up one day and for 2 seconds "feeling" sad about pancakes. Your brain might think...wait it's pancakes i love pancakes why do i feel sad about pancakes that makes no sense, but somewhere in there for some illogical but none the less true reason, you "felt" sad about pancakes.
it's funny in a peculiar sort of way
i'm finished, this barely makes sense as it is.
spammers are putting far too much effort into these "emails"
0 comments Posted by in.a.tryptic.set at 2:57 PM
Drinking coffee.
11pm.
two sisters, a boyfriend. and i
debating the relative merits of the rolling stones 500 greatest albums of all time.
4 beatles albums take up the top 10.
have we seriously not managed to top albums that where recorded before the 1980's?
or does nostalgia play a heavy part?
I'd like to say that u2's all that we can't leave behind is definitely in my own top 10.
i will attempt to finish my top 10 list before albums feel like relics from a pre-downloadable music past.
my favorite month is november.
i think fall feels like magic.
and the air is crisp and full of possibilities.
my favorite month is june.
that's not actually a contradiction.