pixelated.me

antiquated romantics:

The noble concept. The Romantic. The dashing hero. Richard Gere riding in on his white limo. These are enduring images. They exist in almost mythical quantities in our literature, cinema, and music. I grew up with these concept driven into my skull by having the misfortune of reading far too much Shelly and not enough Bukowski.
Of having an awful preference for rock ballads. I also grew up frustrated by being labeled as a really nice guy, a proper gentleman, and not getting laid nearly as much as i wanted.

The thing is, the rub, the jux, of it all is that these concepts, the idea of the romantic as its presented to us is surely based on some antiquated concept of women that ceased to exist somewhere after the first bra was burned. Who is this woman who swoons at the gentlemanly courtship, at the outlandish gestures? If this was a lecture i would already see the smiles creeping across some of the female faces, i can picture the many who would say "me, me, me" but ladies, ask yourselves how many very respectful, gentlemanly nice guys you've put in your pockets as "friends"? I think the noble gent existed at some point out of some necessity. Those grand gestures needed by woman who for hundreds of years lived in secondary roles in society. Needed for assurance, comfort, to make tangible the intangible? "Prove you love me" subtext: because i'm insecure and need assurances.
and so we tried and much of our concepts of the romantic were born.

Standing for hours in the rain just to see you. CHECK
walking 500 miles just to see you smile. CHECK
giving up forever to touch you: CHECK and nicely written by the Goo Goo Dolls
Slaying the dragon, knight, evil king, to win your heart? CHECK

So we slay the dragon, walk the walk in the rain, and nod a polite no to forever when it's offered. Expecting i imagine the maiden in distress to tend to our dragon inflicted wounds or massage our tired feet after walking for so many miles, at the very least to offer us a towel to dry ourselves off and maybe wash our soaked clothes. perhaps i lived in New York City for too many years, maybe there is a very particular kind of bird that lives in that city, but somehow i can't imagine the average (and few of them are average) NYC blackberry toting, web-marketing exec, Carrie Bradshaw idolizing woman to meet those expectations. She's probably dating a drummer or a wall street exec who treats her like shit but who's GORGEOUS.
Many of them would no doubt disagree but i think romanticism needs a refresh. It needs a dose of sincerity.

I think romantic is to say yes your thighs look fat in those jeans, which is why i prefer you naked! Or i fucking hate your dog but i put up with it because i love the way you give head.

Would it hurt to say no you're not the most beautiful woman I've ever seen but I'm absolutely fucking delighted to be here with you.

Maybe it would, or maybe I'm just confused. After all I'm dating a stripper who took very good care of me when i was ill and walked to to the pharmacy for me in the rain.