pixelated.me

it had occurred to me that in 12 days on nov 14th i would mark the passing of 2 years. 2 years of terrible growth, pain, joy, ache, maturing, and all the somewhat cliched stuff that people go through after a particularly bad break-up. I would have said something clever, funny, sarcastic, i would have sworn a few times and made note of how time has not so much made anything easier as just made it part of a greater whole. It stands out less after 2 years...

You see there i go writing what i would no doubt have written in 12 days time if it weren't for a list of 100 things that someone wrote that i read tonight that reminded me a little of what the things looked like just before it all came tumbling down, and you know what, (you, faceless, nameless reader) things circa oct 2005 looked pretty damn beautiful, the water was calm, to borrow a mediocre metaphor. There seemed to be a lot of good in the little house of cards that was that relationship. I'm not sure what deep insight i can gleam from that, it's a bit unsettling to realize just how subtle the foreshadowing was to both of us.

but more than looking back it makes me wonder about the present, I'm in a somewhat new relationship with many of its own pitfalls and i have to somehow convince myself to just go with it, with full knowledge of just how abrupt the end can be.

it was nice reading that list though, even though things fell apart it was nice to stop for a moment and be reminded of the good.